


So Close But Yet So Far

by OnTheGround2012



Series: All I Saw Was You [10]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Angst, Assumptions, Attraction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fanart, Fluff, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage, Mates, Memories, Nervousness, Nobody is Dead, Questioning, Questions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 10:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4784759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles gets a text from Kane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Close But Yet So Far

**Author's Note:**

> I'd really love ot of you let me know what you think... ot if you like it. Kudos are great too.
> 
> I wanted to post this today because it was a year ago when I shared the first chapter. It was never meant to be more than a simple standalone which started with the idea of Stiles in a hospital bed looking at a ring he didn't remember, so it's really both weird and cool to think that a year later there are nine more chapters plus a companion. If this was the last chapter I'd already be happy with the fact that despite not being a writer I expanded this universe and some people liked it as well, so thank you to all my betas and everybody who helped to make that happen in one way or another.
> 
> Erica appears in this chapter because I met Gage in July and she was awesome. She loved writing the title and hearing about fanfiction which was totally new to her and I told her that there wasn't much Erica in my story but that I'd try to write her more scenes if I continued.
> 
> Thanks so much to [Motionalocean](http://archiveofourown.org/users/motionalocean/pseuds/motionalocean), I can't thank you enough for your advice and your hard work.
> 
> Thanks to the readers who commented in the last chapter.
> 
> Title from "Open Your Eyes" by Molitor feat. Sebastian Silverberg.
> 
> Pictures of the fanart taken by me at the Fotografiska museum in January 2015.

[ ](http://imgur.com/ukjVNvz)

 

 

He didn't know what to expect but it is more than he’d have thought. Parsons, Chase & Co occupies quite a tall building in the center of Beacon Hills. He doesn't remember it, the same way that he doesn't recognize most of the restaurants and shops around it. There's no doubt that the town has grown and changed a lot during the last fourteen years.

After he gets into the elevator, he remembers what the text said and presses the button for the sixth floor. When the doors open, he finds himself in front of Erica, only this is Erica in lawyer mode, with an expensive suit, wearing her hair up and a briefcase.

"Stiles, hey, what are you doing here?" Erica asks him as he steps out of the elevator.

"Hey, shouldn't I be asking you that? I thought you didn't work here..." Stiles doubts for a moment, maybe he's mixing up things.

"No, you're right. I don't work here. I work for the DA, it's not too far though, five minutes from here actually. I came to see an associate about a plea bargain."

Stiles has never seen her all dressed up like this and it's weird, he can't help it. "You look great. Very professional." And he wonders why he can't ever shut up, that probably sounded stupid.

"Oh, thank you," Erica is a little surprised at first until she remembers that this is another first for Stiles. "That's so nice of you to say. Nobody gives me compliments anymore, you know..." she says with a big smile and honesty in his voice. "Are you here to see Kane?"

"Yeah, he texted me yesterday. Not idea what it’s about, though."

"That is so him. Why call when you can text someone a million times? Well, I hope he doesn't have a client and won't have you waiting."

"We have an appointment at noon, so I don't think so."

"Oh good," Erica nods. "I hope it goes well..." she presses the button to call the elevator. "I’m going to see Jackson tonight after work, so I'll see you there, okay?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll see you later."

The door opens. "Bye," Erica says as she enters the elevator.

Stiles heads to talk to the receptionist, who points him towards Kane's office.

"Stiles... hi, come in. Take a seat, please," Kane says as he enters his office. It's all modern furniture with a big window and a lot of light. It's not a cold place, it feels welcoming and he likes it.

Kane is wearing a blue suit with a matching tie that fits him really well, at least what Stiles can see, and he looks really handsome.

"Thank you for being punctual by the way."

"I just dropped off Daniel at school and my agenda is not exactly full these days. It was easy. Why did you want to see me?" Stiles sits down.

"Okay," Kane smiles, "right to the point, I see."

"Well, you didn't tell me anything in that text. Of course I've been wondering what it was about."

"I couldn't exactly talk about it on the phone." As Stiles looks at him expectantly, he continue. "I wanted to talk about Jackson's will."

"His will?" Stiles frowns surprised. "Jackson has a will?" That is something he had never thought about.

"Of course he does. He's a lawyer, he thinks about these things more than other people I guess."

"It's just... he didn't tell me, I had no idea. Do I have a will as well?" Because now that he thinks about it he doesn't know either.

"To be honest, I don't know that. I only represent Jackson, not you."

"And who is my lawyer? Don't tell me..." he hesitates as he wonders for a second. "Don't tell me it's Jackson."

"No, it's not him. It's not advisable for a lawyer to represent their spouse. It's allowed in civil cases but most attorneys don't represent family members."

Stiles nods, and Kane continues. "If I'm not wrong, your lawyer is Craig Wilson. He was in our circle at university and he's a friend. He works for another firm, not here. Jackson thinks he's very good and, well, he doesn't think that of many people," he says dryly. "So, y'know, he trusts him and I guess he recommended him."

Stiles is silent, unsure what to say. This just reminded him that the list of things he should know and doesn't is endless and absolutely frustrating.

"And is Jackson good?" Stiles finally asks.

"I mean... at his job, as a lawyer," he clarifies when Kane doesn't answer.

Kane smiles. "What do you think?"

"I don't know, but I guess he must be. I know this is a good firm. I guess I just wanted to know your opinion since you work with him."

"Well, we've worked some cases together but the truth is that it changes all the time and we all have our own clients. But yeah, of course, he's good, he graduated at the top of our class and he's one of the best attorneys I know. But please, don't ever tell him I said that because his ego is big enough as it is." Kane smiles and Stiles smiles back because that sounds like the Jackson he remembers.

"He's thorough, he gets invested on the cases and more importantly, he cares about doing what's right for the client. As a defense attorney, you need to know what's best for your client and many times they don't see it that way, so you need to earn their trust and he's _really_ good at that."

"I'm sure he could be working for a top firm in New York or anywhere else but I know he'd never consider it because the pack is here and you, Daniel and your father are here, so even if you might have moved if he had to, I know he'd never even take it into consideration. Actually, I don't think that anybody in the pack would consider it, y'know?"

Stiles nods, thinking about how tight-knit the pack is now; more so than when they were all teenagers, for sure.

"Yeah, I bet Derek wouldn't be happy."

"Yeah, he'd have been sad to see anybody leave. But Jackson... not that Derek doesn't care about everybody, but Jackson is very important to him. I know that."

Stiles nods again. If there's anything he's realized by now, is that Derek has a close relationship with Jackson.

"Anyway, about the will," Kane reminds him. "I know he told you before the accident. I imagine he forgot afterwards."

"But Kane, he's not..." Stiles falters. "I mean, he's not dead." It doesn't feel right talking about this, it feels all kinds of wrong actually. "I'm not sure you should be telling me any of this."

"Of course he isn't and god, don't get me wrong, I hope he'll come out of this. He's strong and I really think he can beat this but still, I know you have Daniel to think about and your life is very complicated right now." Kane is not sure how to say this... but he knows Jackson and this is the right thing to do. "What I'm trying to say is that Jackson made sure that you were taken care of if anything happened to him and well, he's in a coma right now and I _know_... I'm _sure_ he'd like you to know that you are his sole beneficiary since Daniel is not an adult yet.”

"What do mean _sole beneficiary_?"

"Exactly that. You would inherit everything he owns, including most of the settlement he received when was eighteen. He only used part of it to pay for your house but the rest he's never touched since his parents have money and, well, he had his job and he's never needed it, so he was saving it for Daniel or, y'know, any other children you might have, unless something happened to him, of course."

"You knew about all this," Kane continues since Stiles is staring at him as he is assimilating all this new information. "I mean, about the money, before the accident. And you agreed."

"And how much is it?" Since he realizes that he should know these things.

"Around three million."

"Oh wow," he can't help but say. He didn't know what he was expecting... but not that. He's really not used to having money yet. "That's..." He's not even sure how to end that sentence.

"It's a lot of money. I know." Kane imagines what Stiles must be thinking.

"Stiles... My parents didn't have a lot money and I know what it's like to work after school to be able to pay for cool clothes and a car and wonder if I could afford college... so yeah, even if you didn't have amnesia, you'd still think it's a lot of money. The fact that you're married to somebody who has never had to worry about money doesn't change how you feel. At least, I know it didn't change you. If anything it only made you value what you had more."

And that is a relief; it's always good to know you've not changed despite all those years and everything that has happened.

"I had no idea he paid for that house," Stiles frowns. "I thought... I don't know... I guess I thought we were both paying it. Y'know, together."

"I know but... you loved that house since the first time you saw it. He knew that. And he had the money so he bought it," Kane says matter-of-fact.

"So he lied to me?"

"No, he didn't lie. He just didn't tell you he was buying it until well... he had already bought it."

"And I didn't kill him?"

Kane smiles and chuckles. "By then you were married. You got a little upset but your arguments, they don't usually last too long... a week... two tops. You got over it. You realized it was a good investment and after all, he only did it to make you happy and you _were_ happy so..."

"And that was it?" he asks with incredulity.

"Yeah, that was it. You made up and probably christened every room in that house that day... or week... I don't know all the details," Kane says, amused.

"You enjoy making me uncomfortable, don't you?" Stiles smiles.

"No..." Kane smiles, "okay, maybe a little." He huffs a laugh as Stiles shakes his head.

"Listen," Kane continues more seriously. "Jackson loves you more than anything and he's always wanted you to have what you deserve even if you didn't think you did or even if you thought it was too expensive or... whatever... he didn't want you to worry about anything and that is why he made that will when you married him. He was convinced it was forever and just wanted to do it because he was afraid that something could happen to him. Boyd almost died once and I know that it was hard on everybody and that they've not forgotten it."

Stiles nods, and thinks for a moment. "Can I... can I ask you something personal?"

"Yeah... of course," Kane says, intrigued. "What is it?"

"I know you didn't take the bite. I wondered if it was Derek or... you," he said, unsure how to ask this exactly. "I mean, how did Derek feel about it?"

"I know why you are asking. Everybody knows what happened between you two... but no, Derek was okay with it, it was me who didn't want it and that was it. No arguments, zero drama about it."

"You were sure?"

"Yeah. The thing is that I love Derek for how he is... how he was when we met. I didn't know that other side and it's not what I liked about him. So when I found out I accepted it because it's part of him and I'm part of the pack because I obviously have to be but I'm not like you. You have a history with these people that I don't have, so you love being part of that group and you love that Jackson is different. That is why I understood what happened between you two and nobody was really surprised. We knew it was a big deal when you moved out."

All that makes sense but something Kane just said didn't feel so right.

"You say that as if I'm with Jackson because he's not human," Stiles says, a little annoyed.

"I didn't mean that," Kane corrects him.

"Then what did you mean?"

"Just that you love that part of him. He knows that and he's happy that you do. I didn't mean that you don't like other things about him. Nobody thinks that you fell in love with him because he's a wolf, okay? I wasn't saying that," he repeats hoping to make that clear. "But it's obvious that it's been part of your relationship from the start. And you two have a son, it would never have happened otherwise. I've always thought that him being different really matters to you."

Stiles gets what he means but he's not sure what to say. He doesn't remember and he can't exactly contradict what Kane is saying. This is something he'd really like to know.

"Why did you ask? Did you think it was Derek who didn't want to do it?"

"Sort of... I was curious. But also, with everything that's happened... I don't know. I was thinking about it. I was thinking how everything would be different if Derek had done it, y'know? My life wouldn't be such a mess right now."

Kane snorts, "Or maybe you wouldn't _have_ a life. Maybe you would be dead. If you ask me, Jackson did what he had to do and I would have done the same thing. So stop thinking about it... don't think that things would be so much better and different. You don't know that."

Stiles doesn't say anything. Kane has a way of putting things so that they always make sense and probably that's what he needed today. He needs to stop thinking so fucking much every day.

"Anyway... there's something else. I asked you to come because Jackson, he wrote a letter for you in case he died."

"A letter?" It's hard to imagine Jackson writing a letter, but it’s been a long time since high school. Jackson’s grown up, he must remind himself that.

"Yes, it's part of his will and it can't leave this office. You can’t take it, but I thought that given what's happened, that maybe you should read it. It's not like a sealed document, it's just something he wrote in case anything happened to him. So I don't think he'd be mad about it or I wouldn't have told you. I think he'd agree. I think he'd like you to read it."

Kane hands him a white envelope across the table and Stiles takes it and looks at it. It's his choice and he's both surprised and unsure about it but he can't deny it, he's curious and he opens it. He takes out the page, looks at the small paper and he recognizes Jackson's handwriting, as he's seen it at the house many times by now.

Stiles feels a little weird reading this in front of Kane and probably Kane notices it too because he tells him to take his time and leaves to talk to a colleague about something for a few minutes.

Once he's alone he finally starts to read it.

_Stilinski,_

_This is not a goodbye, you know I hate that stuff, but since I'm no longer there I just want you to keep this soppy letter and remember that you were it for me. Remember that you changed me. Remember that we made the best team._

_I'm just grateful that we ended up in the cinema that day and you didn't chicken out. You were brave, like you always are. You're so much braver than I am. You gave us a chance. You trusted this asshole not to break your heart. You trusted me to be your husband. You trusted me to be a father. You saw in me what nobody had seen before and I know that. I know how lucky I've been to share my life with you._

_Tell Daniel I wish I had been there for him. Tell him how much I loved being his dad._

_I'd be lying if I said I want you to find somebody else so I won't. I'm selfish, that hasn't changed and you're my husband. You're my mate. And I'm not the sharing type, but still, I do want you to be happy and I trust my pack to kill anybody who tries to hurt you._

_Love you,_

_Yours always,_

_Jackson._

 

Before he realizes, there are tears in his eyes that he removes with the back of his hands. He wonders why the hell he's fucking crying. Why did it affect him so much if he's not in love with him. Maybe it's because he can picture Jackson writing it; maybe it's because he knows Jackson was nothing but honest when he wrote those words; maybe it's because he hates not having what they had anymore; most probably it's because he wishes with all his heart that he could get it back, that they hadn't lost what they had.

Kane comes back a couple of minutes later and he looks unsure, like he doesn't know what to say.

"Are you okay?" he says finally.

"To be honest," Stiles answers handing the envelope back to Kane. "No, I'm a mess." He runs his fingers through his hair.

"The letter?"

"No... and yes, it's everything. The thing is... I remembered something last night."

"A memory?" Kane asks confused.

"Yes. It was a dream... but the whole scene came back to me. I know it was real."

"Really? What happened?" Excitement in his voice.

"I remembered..." Stiles sighs. "That time Jackson and I were captured by the Esiban."

"Wow, man. This is huge. You remembered everything?"

"Yeah, I did. I know what they did to me... I mean, me and Jackson... what we went through."

"Wow," Kane says again.

"I could feel everything. It felt so fucking real... it was..." he tries to find the words, "it was horrible. I can't really describe it."

Kane is obviously speechless.

"I'm so sorry Stiles," he says finally. "Have you told Derek? Does anybody know?"

"My father woke me up after I woke him up... other than him, just you. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, y'know. Besides, I guess I was convinced I'd never remember anything."

"This took you totally by surprise, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm still... in shock, I guess."

"You need to process the whole thing."

"That's what my father said. I'm gonna tell Derek... the pack... of course I will but not today. I need some time."

"Yeah, I get that." Kane nods.

"Besides, I'm afraid people are gonna get their hopes up. This doesn't mean I'm going to remember anything else. It doesn't mean I have my memory back, y'know?" Stiles doesn't want to get excited himself. If Jackson was awake... if he wasn't in a fucking coma, he wouldn't like him to be disappointed when he doesn't remember anything else. He's the first person he'd like to tell. He's been wondering how he'd take the news... how he'd feel about it.

"What do you think Jackson would say?"

"Jackson?" Kane repeats. "Well, I think he'd be _thrilled_ about it."

"You think?" Tone doubtful.

"Yes... of course, it sucks that it's a painful memory but it is a memory after all. It's a part of your past. He'd be happy. I'm sure of it," Kane says with confidence.

That makes Stiles feel a little better. Somehow it's a relief to think that Jackson would be okay with it.

"If you say so."

"Believe me. I know him. He'd be glad," Kane repeats as to make sure that Stiles believes him.

"Just tell me when you tell Derek and everybody else so that I don't spill the beans, okay?"

"Yeah, I will." Stiles looks at his watch and wonders if he's taken too much of Kane's time. "I'm gonna go," he says finally.

"I was thinking... before you go. You weren't here with Jackson, right? Would you like you have a look at his office?"

"No, I wasn't." Which is stupid when he thinks about it, he guesses he should have come, at least once but Jackson never said anything and he obviously wasn't interested.

"Yes, thanks, actually, I'd like to see it."

Stiles gets up and follows Kane out of the office.

"This way," Kane says heading to the left.

The pass what looks like a meeting room with many chairs around a big table and a big screen and three doors past that they get to a door with the words "Jackson Whittemore" written on it.

Kane opens it and Stiles follows him in.

It's quite spacious, same size as Kane's but it's a corner office, so it has big windows both at the end and on the left wall, filling the room with a lot of natural light. The black desk and chairs surrounded by white shelves and walls make it a more lively place. Still formal but in Stiles's opinion it's less boring. He likes it.

Stiles looks around but of course, nothing looks familiar.

"I guess I've been here many times..."

"Yeah, you have."

As Stiles gets closer to the desk he sees a frame on the right corner. He grabs it and finds a picture of himself and Jackson. He’s still not quite used to his own face, but Jackson looks a little younger in it and he's got much shorter hair.

"I recognize it. I've seen other pictures of this trip at home. This is Scotland, years ago... before Daniel. I kind of hate this hair."

"Yeah," Kane smiles. "After graduating college, before you got married."

Stiles leaves the frame where it was before and as he looks up he's surprised by two medium size prints hanging on the wall on the right side of the desk, next to the shelves. Where they are Jackson could see them perfectly from his seat.

Stiles goes around the desk until he's standing in front of them.

"These are beautiful," he says staring at both of them.

The picture at the top shows three women of some indigenous tribe wearing a sort of skirt made of animal skins walking through the desert. Their shadow is outlined perfectly on the sand.

The picture below shows a male member of the tribe dressed with a red tunic, holding an arrow and a beautiful shield in each hand. He also has something around his head that he wouldn't know how to describe.

The colors caught in the afternoon light, and the exotic landscape reminded Stiles of Jackson’s energy, not necessarily for distant lands, but for distant understanding. But the familiarity, the way the man stared directly at the camera, spoke of a comfort in his environment that Stiles knew Jackson had here, with his pack… Stiles looked down at the desk, and the picture there, and knew that he had a role in that too.

"Jackson got these?"

"Yeah, he loves them... and so did you. Since college he's a lot into photography. He got these at the Fotografiska museum a year ago when you visited Stockholm."

"How do you know so many things?" Stiles smiles surprised.

"Coffee breaks, pack meetings, birthdays..." Kane says matter-of-fact. "We talk often, y'know." He smiles.

"I know..." Stiles says defensively. "It just sucks. I mean, you just reminded me again that you know him so much better now. Not to mention that I've been to fucking Sweden, Scotland, Spain..." he opens his arms, "so many cool places that I don't remember... it's... infuriating." He feels like he's never going to get used to it.

Stiles moves towards the door and Kane follows him.

"I don't think I know him better than you do. Sure, I know what his friends know. But you knew things that I didn't."

"And I never will if he doesn't wake up," Stiles says as he comes out of the office.

Kane follows him, closing the door behind them with a smile.

The fact that Stiles is frustrated and can't wait for Jackson to wake up shows exactly how he feels.

"He will wake up. He's strong and stubborn. Call me... or text me if there is any change, okay? I need to check with Derek but I think we'll probably stop by to see him tonight."

"Sure, I'll keep you updated. And Kane... thank you. Thank you for telling me and for showing me the letter."

"Don't mention it," Kane says with sincerity.

"You're a good friend." Stiles can see that very clearly.

Kane smiles and rests his hand on Stiles's shoulder squeezing lightly. "See you later, okay?"

"Yeah, see you later," Stiles says heading to the elevator as Kane goes back to his office.

**Author's Note:**

> * You can find me [on Tumblr.](http://otg2012.tumblr.com/)
> 
> * I've updated the ["All I Saw Was You" Companion.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3825325) Now it also includes chapters 8, 9 and 10.
> 
> * The feedback I receive will determine if this is the final chapter.
> 
> (For those who maybe don't know, you don't need an account to comment.)


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